Words of a Heart In Love

The pain of Losing him is not as hard as the pain of his absence…

Posted on: August 15, 2018

  • In: Mi Gran Amor
  • Comments Off on The pain of Losing him is not as hard as the pain of his absence…

Image may contain: dogIt’s with a broken heart that I come here today to update on my status.  There have been many instances in which I have wanted to come and give an update to the Words of a Heart in love, be it good or bad.  I’ve not done so, and so much has passed since I last did.  However, I want to take this moment to honor the memory of my loving son Tiny.  He passed over to the Rainbow Bridge with all the other special kind of Humans, at least for me that is what pets are, just another breeds of human beings.  Well my little man, my love, my son, my companion, the one who was always there for me these last 16 years has finally closed his eyes and gone from me forever to play with his other little friends, that are waiting for us to reunite with them, whilst playing together with their new renovated healthy bodies.

Image may contain: dogIt has been very hard for me to endure his absence, because just as hard as losing him was, his absence has been even harder.  I miss him in every corner of my apartment.  I miss him when I’m driving home (cuz I know he will not receive me in the door jumping up and down), when it’s about to rain (cuz I won’t be worry I have to let him out before it does) and when it’s not raining (cuz it means I can let him out).  If I’m late at work (cuz it means he is awaiting me eagerly), when I’m in the grocery store and I go by the chicken isle (cuz that’s what I always fed him), if I go by the treats he likes, everything reminds me he is not here and I burst into tears.

Image may contain: dogI knew this was going to be hard five years ago, I could never picture a day when he was not there with me and finally on July 16th that day came, and with it one of the biggest sorrow I have ever experienced in my very long life.  I can’t come to terms with my loss, I love him sooooo much, and the thought of not being able to ever again hold him, kiss him, feel his wet nose on my cheek or have him follow me around the house is even harder than accepting he is gone.  I can come to terms with the reasons why, he is no longer here, he was very old, could barely walk and he just had to go rest from this world and into the Rainbow Bridge where he is so much happier, yet it still does not outweigh the sense of loss and sadness.

Image may contain: dogI must say that missing him has been harder than when I lost my mom. Why? Or How?  Easy, my mom did not live with me, she was not constantly around me, so I’m not reminded she is not with me anymore and I can pretend she is still in Puerto Rico as a coping mechanism.  But my baby, Tiny, his absence is very real, very present and it hurts me sooooo much.  I can’t fight the tears back, I cry at work, at home and like I mentioned earlier even at the grocery store.  Albeit that I’m in such pain I want to commemorate the life he gave me, how he stood by me when I was lonely, hurting and overcoming the pain of my X, the loss of my mom and even just keeping me company, giving me purpose, having who to talk to when I got home, basically his unconditional love.

He is my heart and my sweet Lil baby boy forever.  There will be no other like him, he will remain, my first, my only and my last.

Mami loves you Tiny and she misses you so much, she will be strong and in time she will try to recover and learn to go on without your sweet Lil face.


Blog Stats

  • 4,431 hits

My Followers

August 2018
« Dec    
%d bloggers like this: